Most people want to be successful.
But most people have an anti-success system. Wishing they could hide under a rock until it all goes away.
It wasn’t until recently that I came across 35 years of research by a psychologist called Gay Hendricks that described this pattern perfectly.
So before you slope back to the comfortable life, a 9-5 or barely breaking it solopreneurship, learn how to break your anti-success system.
I know that you want to create a life by design, to have more financial freedom and to live out your purpose.
And you know that to build this you will have to face the real reason why it isn’t happening.
There are plenty of outside factors you can blame, but this doesn’t answer the question: why don’t you just adapt?
Let me tell you how many times I went through this pattern before making money in my business.
Hundreds.
So let’s save you any more time and heartache. I remember my ideal client wanted to work with me.
I almost cancelled the call.
Instead of excitement, I felt… terror.
What if I messed up? What if they realized I wasn’t as good as they thought?
Maybe I should just go back to my corporate job.
Sound familiar?
When things start going too well, we panic. We hit the brakes. We self-sabotage.
And then—ironically—something does go wrong.
The client backs out [probably because they sense our fear].
The opportunity disappears.
We feel disappointed… but also relieved.
This is your mind’s ANTI-SUCCESS system or upper limit as Dr Hendricks calls it.
Keeping you safe in your current Zone of Competence.
But success? Your full potential? That’s in the zone of genius.
And it feels uncomfortable.
Which beliefs are sabotaging you?
It feels counterintuitive. You want something but you’ll do everything we can to make sure you don’t ever get it.
There are 4 beliefs giving you this mindset:
- You feel that you are NOT good enough.
- You shouldn’t ever outshine others.
- Your success would create increased pressure, responsibility & expectation.
- You would be abandoning others in your circle.
A good stress test to see if subconsciously you believe these is to ask yourself: Which of these habits do I have?
Which habits are you doing in the Anti Success System?
- You actively chose opportunities in your comfort zone
- You don’t want others to feel bad about where they are.
- You hide or play down achievements
- You can’t take a compliment
- You settle for less in a pay negotiation or client contract
- You’re subconsciously setting yourself an upper limit
- You say you’re not ready
- You never really start or publish that project.
- You continue to have bad habits
Doing these things will keep you from the next level.
From living in your zone of genius.
How do you break the Anti Success System?
1. Shine a spotlight on your behaviour and results
Nothing is going to change until you get self-aware.
Take a journal or notebook out every time you feel the pattern repeating. Write down. meditate or take a walk.
Become an open book to your true self. Unpack the events of the previous days and how they made you feel.
Get laser-focused on the actions you took. Whether it was an argument you started or an email you didn’t send.
2. Take 100% personal responsibility
We can all take full responsibility for our actions, regardless of external events.
—
The car broke down.
This meant I was late for the meeting.
Take responsibility.
—
A lead enquiry didn’t answer the first call.
They didn’t call back.
I didn’t follow up again.
Take responsibility.
3. Decide if you deserve success and happiness
This may sound like an obvious choice, but you’d be surprised how often we rob ourselves of daily joy.
Put simply – we do the opposite.
Example: I know a walk around the park on a workday is valuable to my creativity and happiness, yet I often choose to stay at my desk.
Small habits are significant.
4. Take the uncomfortable action
Take the action you know you should.
Call the lead again. Follow up with an email too.
And then journal every uncomfortable action towards your zone of genius. This is acknowledging and celebrating your growth.
So next time you want to hide, notice it.
Remind yourself: This is what growth feels like.
And step forward anyway.
Your next level is waiting.
Next week we’re delving into modern business strategy for solopreneurs.
Thanks for reading,
Sue Parker
Ps if you would like to read more on this topic I’d recommend The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.
#Mindset #Entrepreneurship #Growth